Dating someone with anxious attachment reddit. I have dated a lot of men who have lied to me, gaslit me or lovebombed me and as a result, I get quite anxious in the initial dating phase as there is no guaranteed security or reassurance from the other person whilst in the 'getting to know you' phase. It was then she shared with me that she has an anxious attachment style, and although she is in therapy for it, sometimes she gets irrationally worried that her partner is either bored of her or is trying to push her away and she panics. Second, THERAPY! You won’t have to go forever, but going for a couple weeks really helped me and the therapist gave me good advice and tools to use in the future My boyfriend (20M) and I (22F) have been dating for a little over 5 months. With my ex-boyfriend I always had issues with my anxious style, he was an anxious avoidant and triggered me constantly. It is crucially important for anxious attachers to find someone who has a secure attachment style. That cycle was a vicious circle for me that only encouraged my anxiety. While most people have a primary attachment style, no one fits neatly into one category, like 100% anxious or avoidant or secure- it's a spectrum for all of us. First, I would say human beings and even attachment styles are way too nuanced to have a definitive answer to your question. She’s the first person to ever tell me about these styles and I plan on being with her for a long time, but I also want to know how to work with this style more. Feb 20, 2024 · While the effects of dating with an anxious attachment style differ greatly from person to person, there are some pretty universal ways it can change your relationships. We've not been dating for very long therefore he hasn't talked about his fears with me openly yet (which I can totally understand) but I really do feel like his attachment style affects him and therefore us greatly. I’m very much anxious/preoccupied in romantic attachments, but I’m really struggling to find resources on how to actually become more secure. Hi, I love my girlfriend a lot, and she has an anxious attachment style but also bits of an avoidant one. My boyfriend has disorganized attachment style (while I have anxious). Some things that I have to remember Your anxious feelings will be at their highest in the first 2 months after meeting someone. A space for people who struggle with an anxious attachment style to learn more about it (so as to get on the path of healing), share experiences of their healing journey, find support while healing, and give tips and feedback for discovering healthier coping mechanisms, and overall feeling more secure within yourself (and with others). As a secure, when I was dating, most avoidants walked away from me quickly once they saw I was emotionally engaged and expected commitment within 4-6 weeks or so. Hi there! I would like to ask for some advice. These patterns can lead to emotional highs and lows, especially when paired with avoidant partners. I’ve read “Attached” by Levine and Heller, and while it was very informative, it’s main takeaway was more or less “if you have an anxious attachment style, date someone who is secure”. When you heal, you are no longer attracted to people who have attachment issues. As someone who is very introverted and needs lots of social recovery alone time (from ASD) being with a partner with anxious attachment started making have thoughts similar to an avoidant. Why? Like attracts like. Two people with anxious attachment styles can date, but this may present unique challenges that require extra effort and understanding from both partners. How was your experience dating another person with anxious attachment? Like all other anxiously attached people I am also instinctively attracted to DAs. Don’t date avoidant attachment styles. May 7, 2025 · All relationships take work, but dating someone with anxious attachment can create some unique emotional challenges. Has any managed to break the curse and actually date (from what you can tell) a secure person or even dating a fellow anxiously attached person? What is it like? Did you find it really difficult at first? For instance, someone with an anxious attachment style would be an anxious wreck while dating someone avoidant, but they are absolutely fine when dating someone secure. I suffer from Anxious Attachment Style. . Jan 23, 2024 · Those with an avoidant attachment struggle to commit and feed into anxious attachment anxieties. Of course, we need to work on ourselves but a good partner is key So I [33/f] have developed an anxious attachment from years of crappy choices with men. As someone who used to be an anxious attachment style - first off stop dating shitty men who treat you like crap. I recently found out that I’m a dismissive avoidant (I’m in therapy and working towards being secure). So you need to be extra careful in this time period. I recently got out of a LDR with someone who has anxious attachment. I’ve been noticing that people tend to throw avoidants under the bus a lot, but I don’t see a lot of trash talk about dating someone who has anxious attachment. It very nearly can destroy your relationship if your not careful. I have an anxious attachment style due to toxic relationships in the past and have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. So is it ever worth loving an avoidant type? Of course it is. He told me a few times how he's been hurt by many people A space for people who struggle with an anxious attachment style to learn more about it (so as to get on the path of healing), share experiences of their healing journey, find support while healing, and give tips and feedback for discovering healthier coping mechanisms, and overall feeling more secure within yourself (and with others). Just curious to hear what it looks like from a partner's perspective, as I don't think I've ever been involved with someone with anxious attachment. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Your going to obsess about whether or not they really like you, will you stop hearing from them one day, etc A space for people who struggle with an anxious attachment style to learn more about it (so as to get on the path of healing), share experiences of their healing journey, find support while healing, and give tips and feedback for discovering healthier coping mechanisms, and overall feeling more secure within yourself (and with others). Now, I am with someone who is secure, and life is way easier. Hello, I'm trying very hard to come to grapple with my anxious attachment and honestly I find the anxious- avoidant dynamic intensely seductive. Anxious individuals often downplay their attachment anxiety early on and attune their needs to match their partner's. The following tips can help you support your partner and the health of your relationship. But I wonder what would it be like to date another AP. As someone whose been to therapy, no more trauma baggage, no more codependent issues, no longer anxious avoidant…. Jul 31, 2025 · Dating with an anxious attachment style often involves a fear of rejection, overanalyzing communication, and a strong need for reassurance. The downside is that anxious preoccupied and avoidant people are attracted to each other (because of the push-pull nature of the attachment styles), which result in situationships or toxic relationships. You are no longer attracted to emotionally unavailable. This guide will help you whether you are dating someone with anxious attachment or need to know how to date with an anxious attachment style. I have mentioned this to my boyfriend, and I go to counseling to try and work on myself. uijtbcpo yxpitw t3cndr4 cpcut5tw wzfjo iki bck dmb vfim bowfnw